Future...

Assalamualaikum

You know there's the Page 1 of 365?

It's page 6 today (it's 12am in Korea now)

We're definitely not getting younger by the minutes, what's more by the year

I know I'm getting older and when the clock strikes 12AM on the 1st of January 2014, the question about my goals in life that have been bothering me for the past months is pressuring me more and more. 

Before I came to Korea, while waiting...

The future was dark for me. 

It was dark in my mind because I was clueless about what I really want to do with my life.

I mean I know what my dreams are but after convocation, the road to achieve it seems lost.

My feet is buried deep some place without the ability to move not even an inch. 

Before 2014 came, I've made a few istikharah prayers, wondering if the offer I got from dad would be better for my future or what is easy would be better for me

Admittedly, I didn't do it as frequent as I'm supposed to but I did it for quite a few times

And after new year, that decision once again pressures me and somehow the easier choice is what my heart tells me would be the better choice.

I consult my family and my friends for it, asking them if what my heart tells me could be the answer from Him.

They say they don't know but all advices are the same, they ask me not to give up half way. 

I'm not a quitter, but I was probably just so confused at that time that I felt like quitting. 

I don't feel like quitting at the moment though, so rest assured. 

This greed in me is probably the thing that confuses me so much right now

I want to write, I want to learn how to make films and scripts, I like communications, and somehow I also ended up loving languages and teaching

After teaching just a simple malay to a Korean friend, I figure out that it can also be part of a job to take

But that just adds in to the number of greed I have in what I want to do in life.

The road ahead is still kind of blurry...

I'm still not sure about what I REALLY want to do but while thinking about it, I'm taking my time in deciding it

Disovering and understanding myself, my needs and my dreams once again.

InsyaAllah, with His help, I believe I'll get the right answer soon.

Assalamualaikum.